soul.

today has been such an oxymoron. can a day be an oxymoron anyway?

it's gorgeous out (my favorite kind of weather) & i got to spend almost the whole day with my brother (which is a rarity). we hung out in one of my favorite parts of downtown & he took me to lunch. {side note> why am i just finding out that he & i are kindred spirits? seriously. and as far as clients go... he's definitely in sync with my ideal client profile:)} we enjoyed some yummy food at outdoor tables in the sun while talking about current life events & the summer to come. then he made my job super easy  as we walked around taking his senior pictures. i even got to show him around "my part of town"-- the community i love & the place i get to serve. and then to wrap things up, i got to go to church with him and meet some of his friends. absolutely wonderful.

yet at the same time, i've had a knot in the pit of my stomach all day & all i've want to do is have a good cry. my juxtaposed emotions have nothing to do with johann or what we did but they've been there regardless. all day i have been incredibly thankful for the opportunity to spend time with him so instead i've done what i'm best at and hidden my need to cry behind laughter & a smile. and much of those smiles were genuine because really, we had such a great day together... it's just hard to keep it up when struggling with other things.

see what i mean? i am fighting against all these old feelings because there are an incredible amount of blessings in my life right now that completely outweigh everything else and it stinks to have the mixed feelings butting heads so sorely!! boo.

above it all >>> i am so thankful that Jesus is the HEALER of my soul. the HEALER of my heart. yes my heart hurts, but life would be a whole lot worse right now if he wasn't my healer... and i keep clinging to his promises, knowing that he will comfort me & give me clear direction each step of the way.

forgive me for being a downer today. but i pray that even through this broken hurt of mine, there's a glimmer (or hopefully a strong beam) of JESUS and the marvelous redeeming savior that he is.

i've always loved these verses from isaiah but the other day, i saw them in a completely new way and i haven't been able to get them out of my mind since. if you can, take a few moments to really think through them.

"For he grew up before him like a young plant,
    and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
    and no beauty that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected^[b] by men;
    a man of sorrows,^[c] and acquainted with^[d] grief;^[e]
and as one from whom men hide their faces^[f]
    he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

⁴ Surely he has borne our griefs
    and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,    smitten by God, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions;
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
    and with his wounds we are healed.
⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray;
    we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

upon HIM was the chastisement that brought US PEACE, and with HIS wounds WE are HEALED. wow. i am healed by HIS brokenness. 

lovelovelove this song right now>> "you satisfy my soul" by laura hackett.

"our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses & disappointments; but let us have patience, and we soon shall see them in their proper figures."  >> joseph addison

"fling wide the doors to my soul. have your way Lord, have your way." >>misty edwards

"nothing worth having is easy. anything worth working for is worth the difficulties." >> c.s. lewis

"every experience God gives us, every person he puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for a future only he can see." >> corrie ten boom

inspiration | storing embroidery thread

for years i've had this stash of embroidery thread from my grandmother. it's gotten used for so many things and pretty soon i'll have to replenish my supply:) it has come in handy for wrapping packages, making necklaces, hanging things, driftwood photo frames, and of course embroidery. i'm all about supplies looking pretty when they aren't being used so i came up with this simple idea. i had several pieces of driftwood leftover from last summers scavenging on lake erie so they got put to use. now these lovely colors are on display on my desk!

you'll need >> sticks or driftwood of your choice | embroidery thread, bakers twine, ribbon | jar or vase | knife

make a notch in the end of the stick (or use one that's already there). wrap the thread around the stick from beginning to end & slide the last bit of the thread through the notch to hold in place. display in a pretty jar, vase or container!

before:

 after:

toes, dirt & sunday evenings.

hanging out with my family on warm evenings till the sun goes down is my favorite.

a brand new season.

the golden sunlight plays through my bedroom window as i sit here and write. the lumineers singing on my record player give homage to the long summer nights ahead. it’s a lazy afternoon. the first truly spring day of the year and i’ve just spent the last few hours soaking in the warmth of the sun. writing notes to friends, reading essays about nashville, dreaming about springs spent there as a child & laying with my face tipped up towards the blaze, eyes closed tightly. today at church, someone said that this is the first day in five months that the temperature has been over 68. FIVE months! that’s almost half a year! no wonder we were getting so stir crazy! but the slow daze of today makes up for all of the past winter days. the smell of freshly mown grass is in the air and the river birch out front is thrilled to be thawing; it’s branches dripping a mixture of dew & sap. 

i’m really not much of a writer. i did like grammar and spelling in grade school (though i purposefully break many rules now that i’ve learned them). i’ve penned handwritten letters since before i knew how to shape letters into words. and i do my best to keep a personal journal... but none of that has turned me into a structured writer. nor is it the same as well written stories, essays & the like. in high school i groaned over papers. to this day, i’ve never broken the habit of run-on sentences. but despite all of that, somehow, on days like today, the inner writer in me comes out. someone once said, “spring makes each person a poet”. i’d have to agree. 

on our way home from church, the chillens asked to go out to eat for supper. but instead, we stopped & got the fixins for a semi-asian meal. orange chicken, fried rice (everytime i say those two words, i think of a chinese man saying them with his accent and it sounding like 'flied lice'), & chow mein noodles. it didn’t turn out as good as everyone was hoping but it was our first meal of the season eaten on the deck and therefore special. so no one complained. 

==pause while i flip the vinyl over==

about this time each year, i sit down and start a bucket list of sorts for the warmer months ahead. this year the list includes things like >>> learn to drive stick shift. cook with fresh seasonal ingredients & grill often. invest in an actual camera bag (shamed to say i’ve made it this far without one to protect my gear). host at least one summer dinner party. take plenty of roadtrips to see friends. find some small green plants for my room. take a picnic dinner to a drive-in theater with friends. explore anywhere and everywhere. spend more time in the garden with the earth between my toes & fingers.

this time of year brings out every sentimental bone in my body. 

well the sun is beginning to fade a bit and i want to catch the last few rays, sitting out front with my family, so until next time... 

i’d love to know though. what’s on your spring/summer list this year?

shifting focus.

funny how this blog has morphed over the past 3 years. it started out with me just sharing inspiration i found across the internet... and then i began sharing some of my own projects & outfits. from there i started adding more personal photographs of daily life & travels, and even shared my photography work for a while. 

but now that i'm in a season of pouring so much into my growing business, i don't have as much time to focus on projects & tutorials for the blog (i'm sure they'll still pop up here & there, just not on a regular basis!). and though a business website/blog is still in the works, it's time for my business images to be showcased elsewhere! so if you'd like to keep up with my photography work, take a minute to like the Fernweh Photography facebook page! 

in the meantime, this blog will be focusing on personal life images, travels, adventures & growth. stick around a bit if you will... this summer is sure to be full of pretty images sharing beautiful moments!!

beehive & pancakes.

mary is dear friend of mine and she went way out of her way to bless me in honor of my birthday! we did a little driving and ended up in downtown danville looking for a place to have dinner. the beehive is  a charming little restaurant/grocery and we both enjoyed soup, handpies, coffee & raspberry iced tea... finishing off by honey sweetened frozen yogurt.

the next morning, mary made some yummy pancakes which we washed down with hot tea. yum!

loved getting to spend time with her and have deep convos!

cutie!

SO cold! sheesh! it IS april and i'm still wearing tights & a winter coat most places!

rigged a selfie:)

craaaazeh!

bee-yew-tiful wrapping:)

lovely birthday flowers!

yummmm.