musing.thinking.pondering

{Disclaimer: i hope i don't sound self-rightous in saying any of this. it is simply me. simply my thoughts. in no way would i ever think it makes me better than anyone of you. i am full of weaknesses. i think one of the things i love so much about people is that we are all *so* diverse and all have our own strengths and weaknesses. and just because we are stronger in an area than someone else does not make us better-- for we are probably quite weak in an area they are strong. but God made us like this for a purpose. so we could work together and build one another up. sometimes we are encouraged and built up by others weaknesses. sometimes by their strengths. yet all the time we are who God made us to be. made to be different in strengths and weaknesses, yet to be all like Him.}

During my sickness, there were a few days where my headache and fever were so bad that I couldn't do anything-- not even lay and watch a movie. So I would lay and think. I had an awful lot of time to think. Most of the time I thought about how incredible blessed I was. Ironic, I know, since I was laying there sick, without the strength or will power to do anything. But those thoughts of simply feeling so blessed came back to me over and over again. Yes, I was sick-- but there were so many people in worse circumstances than I who even had deadly illnesses! Yes, I had a certain trial in my life right now ... but look at the blessings and good that had come from it already. Yes, I was still working through that one issue but look at how much Jesus had already taught me through it.  

And then as my strength came back a little and I was babysitting siblings-- oh the challenges there! But yet again, each time, after the frustration ebbed a bit and my mental complaining started, all I heard was Jesus saying "look how blessed you are with _______________". Sometimes they were big blessings but more often it was the little things that were continually brought to mind. I have so much to be thankful for! 

Thus, even though from the outside, one might have said it was a very challenging and stressful week {and it truly was difficult on many levels-- along with being sick, I said long-term goodbyes to a few close friends, had several closed doors...} looking back I feel like it was just so full of blessings!! 

In all my think.think.thinking, I also thought a bit about the Burning House Project.

What would I grab if the house were on fire? Truly, what is important to me? 

The more I thought about it the more I realized how immaterial of a person I am. {You're probably thinking "WHAT?! Emily?! You're sure that's not a typo? I mean, c'mon, this whole blog is all about material things for goodness sakes!"} 

Yes I like "things"... I love clothes, decor, books, etc. I love to create with them and use them and I think God is totally okay with that because he created "things" for us. And whatever material things he places in my life, I will love, share, enjoy...maybe even cherish. 

But if at any moment I was asked to walk away from them, I believe I could. They are just things after all and chances are that at sometime or another I'd lose interest in them anyway. You can ask Mama, I am not & have never been sentimental about much, least of all things {maybe this will change as I get older... have a family....?}.  People and places mean the most to me and so memories of people or places mean the most to me. {Ultimately Jesus means the most to me but I think that's a given}

Thus, if there were a fire and I was able to grab anything while helping the family out, I believe I would grab:

my Bible --- 'nough said
personal and family photo albums/image CDs--- because you can never replace those. ever.
my Husband journals---- these contain so many desires, struggles, dreams, answered prayers, memories...
my camera----to capture future memories, both for myself and others
my laptop---- to work with those images
possibly a few special letters--- you can never replace those either
my purse--- if it were handy I'd probably grab it just cause it has my ID

Thank you for bearing with my rambles. They've been floating about my head for a week now and it feels good to have them sorted out:)