Delight Retreat | Part 1

{Disclaimer >> I didn't intend for this to be quite so long... but as I wrote, I couldn't cut any part of it out! Hopefully the next few posts won't be so long! And I won't be offended if you skip to the pictures!}


I've been home from Washington for almost a week now and I'm still struggling with knowing where to start in sharing what God did there. This much I have learned, God is not to be limited & there is no way my words can completely portray all that he is.

Since my images are split by day, I think I'll do my best to share a little bit about each day as I share the images in separate posts. But first, let's start with what Delight is and how I came to be at the retreat. (heads up >> i'm being very real here so you will see the ugliness of my heart & how God is redeeming it)

A little over a year ago, another photographer added me to an online group/forum called Pursuit 31. As I connected further into the group, I found out that it was a national group for Christian female photographers started by Karen Stott with the intention of building community & encouragement. (After all, owning your own business/working for yourself can be pretty lonely if you don't network!) Then a few days before New Years this last year, the same photographer who added me to P31 suggested I check out Delight, a new group with similar purpose for young women. Delight was having it's official launch on January 1st and I was excited to connect with other girls my age who were in a similar place in the photography journey. But though I was excited, I struggled a little bit with whether or not I should join. I just felt in a bit of an odd place... the group technically only when up to 20 yr olds & I've always felt much more comfortable networking with people older than me. God was calling me out of my comfort zone though & so I joined... praying that my heart would be open to however God would use me. Maybe stretching me to reach out & encourage girls just a year or two in my wake. 

Then a few weeks later, the Delight retreat was announced. It sounded really great but I struggled to invision myself being peers with girls my age. Due to various life circumstances, I had rarely related with highschool girls when I was in that season of life myself (though I did my best to fake it) so why did I think it'd be any better now?  Then Kristin sent me a message saying,  "I am wondering if you have been praying about coming to the retreat. I am praying that God would open doors if you are meant to be there!". I had experienced a rough start to the year and sent back some cheerful response about why I couldn't go... attempting to hide all the brokenness I was feeling. Though it did blow me away that this woman, clear across the country, who had never met me, was specifically praying that I could come to the retreat.

 Kristin messaged again asking if there was any way it could happen/any way she could help to make it happen. In my mind, I was thinking "no, it's not happening. Let's just forget about it". But I couldn't get it out of my head, so I brought it up to my parents a few times. I didn't even know why I was bringing it up, after I all, I didn't even really want to go. The only thing that was glamorous to me was the opportunity to travel to a place I'd never been before & maybe make a few new friends. Honestly though, I was thinking that it'd just be another teeny-bopper retreat where the leaders considered the girls to be immature & at the end of the day went off to their little huddle. I was not excited about that. Especially since I knew I'd gravitate towards connecting with the leaders anyway. Major limbo feelings were going on. (see. told you this was going to be raw & honest).  Each time I received a message from Kristin, there was so much hope & excitement flowing through & they really were such an encouragement. I couldn't help but be excited in reply, even though I really didn't think this whole retreat thing would happen on my end. 

{Quickly though-- I want to take a moment to say very clearly that God has since shown me much pride in my perspectives and though He has used me to encourage some of the girls, the REAL encouragement has come from THEM speaking truth into my life.  God has opened my eyes to see that when we are connecting because of Him... all of the other things don't matter as much. He's also teaching me how, as much as I love to know the WHY for things, I don't always need to know the purpose or reasoning behind doing as He says. I need to be willing to obey blindly, trusting the unknown to Him.}

Surprisingly, as I brought it up to my parents, they encourage me to go. In all my years pursuing photography, I'd only spent like $30 on instruction/classes/mentoring and they thought it was time I invested a little more into that area. Not to mention that this retreat wasn't going to be just about photography. It was a spiritual investment as well. Even in my selfishness, I recognized the spiritual aspect and I think that was another reason I didn't want to go. Because I knew I would be broken & God would show me where I was wrong... and back in January, I really wasn't in a place of wanting that. He had just stripped away something huge from my life that I had begun to think was permanent & knew was placed there by Him. And despite seeing His goodness in the whole thing, I pouted about it. But weeks later, I finally came to see that though He most certainly did bring that to my life for a reason, it wasn't for the end I had expected but in order that HIS will be done. And though it hurt to have it taken away, it was all being used  for sanctification & there was SO much goodness in it. {my pastor likes to say- "If I'm still breathing, I'm not done being sanctified & refined".}

Backtracking to when I mentioned it to my parents > > after discussing details with them & hearing their thoughts, I decided to register. So I message Kristin letting her know! By that time, I KNEW I was supposed to be going. Laying all of my whining & pouting aside, I knew this was the step I was supposed to be taking. I still had all of those insecurities about what it would be like & had no idea what God's purpose was for me in going... but sometimes to know you're laying down your desires for His will-- that's enough.
He then blessed me with excitement about the unknown & I started connecting on facebook with the other girls who were going. I even threw out this crazy idea of taking a roadtrip to Seattle after the retreat & 4 of the girls jumped on board (more on that to follow in another post!).

Jump forward 3 months. Thursday morning, after an intense week of work, I headed to the airport with mama. I love airports. Airports mean you're going somewhere, and I love to go places! In the last few months of talking with some of the girls, we had connected & God had shown me that there was going to be DEPTH at this retreat. So as I prepared to head to Washington state, I was truly getting excited about connecting with everyone, but I was selling God wayyyy short. I had come a long way since January but my expectations for this retreat were ashamedly pretty low. Instead of asking God to do incredible things, I was mentally thinking, "okay God. I still don't know the purpose of me going... but if you could grow me a bit & maybe even use me in someone else's life... that would be enough." wow. what a pathetic prayer since I was praying it as if "that was the least He could do". 

Nine of us were meeting in the Seattle airport to catch our flight to Wenatchee so we had all been in contact throughout the day. When I landed, I texted Jessica Lauren to let her know I was there. Before I knew it, she & Ashlynne were walking up to our gate & we were exchanging excited hugs!! Then a little bit later, it was a whirlwind of excitement as everyone else walked up, we connected & shared lots of hugs, grabbed Starbucks & talked a mile a minute! A couple sitting next to us asked where we were heading & how long we had known each other. When we told them that we had literally met 5 minutes before, they didn't believe us! That's the power of being sisters in Christ y'all!! Jesus instantly connects you with people all over the world better than anything else can! 

We boarded our flight to Wenatchee and those of us who had seats near eachother were so full of excitement that we had to shush ourselves while the flight attendents gave their safety talk! It was a super short flight & after walking off the tarmac, we ran into Kristin & Emily's arms!! It felt like such a reunion even though most of us were meeting them for the first time! 

When we arrived at the house, we were welcomed by the rest of the leaders & some of the girls who were already there.  After finding our rooms & doing a bit of exploring, we all hung out on the back deck/lawn enjoying the stunning view & getting to know one another. Walking out there was when I first knew that this retreat was going to be different. Then later as we were split into small groups & even the leaders in my group became real & raw with us... it was cemented in my mind. This wasn't going to be another retreat where the leaders were higher up, disconnected people. At this retreat, they were seeking to be broken just like us & they were willing to grow & be stretched right along side of us. There were no lines barred between anyone. I can't tell you what a refreshment that was to my soul! 

We hadn't been out on the back lawn more than 20 minutes when everyone's camera's started to come out & lil' Miss Wisdom was cooed over!! This was a photography retreat after all!! After a delicious dinner prepared by Emily, we all grouped in the living room to be lead in worship by Chachie. Following worship, Kristin asked for introductions & asked us to share why we were there.  I lost track of the number of girls who shared that they knew, without a doubt, that God had hand picked them to be there. We might not have known on that first night the deeper reason of why we were there, but we knew God wanted us there. And truly, our purpose became evident very quickly. Every single person that was at the retreat was handpicked by God & He had a huge plan for all of us in being there. 

....to be continued...